The Child's Mental Training, Part 1

Maintaining Health
by R. L. Alsaker

(Page 41 of 47)

A healthy body is the child's first requirement. However, if the mental training is poor, giving wrong views of life, a good physique is of but little service.

It is quite generally agreed among observers that the first seven years of life leave the mental impressions which guide the whole life, and that after the age of fourteen the mental trend rarely changes. There are a few individuals with strength enough to make themselves over mentally after reaching adult life, but these are so few that they are almost negligible, and even they are largely influenced by their youth and infancy. It is as easy to form good mental habits as bad ones. It is within the power of all parents to give their children healthy bodies and healthy minds, and this is a duty, which should prove a pleasure. The reason such heritage is so rare is that it requires considerable self-control and most parents live chaotic lives.

Upon the mentality depends the success in life. "It is the mind that makes the body rich." No matter how great an individual's success may seem in the eyes of the public, if the person lacks the proper perspective, the proper vision and the right understanding, his success is an empty thing. Wealth and success are considered synonymous, but I have found more misery in the homes of the rich than among the poor. Physical wants can be supplied and the suffering is over, but mental wants can only be satisfied through understanding, which should be cultivated in childhood.

"All our problems go back to the child - corrupt politics, dishonesty and greed in commerce, war, anarchism, drunkenness, incompetence and criminality." - Moxom.

Given a healthy body and a good mind, every individual is able to become a useful member of society, and that is all that can be expected of the average individual. All can not be eminent, and it is not necessary.

Upon the child's mental impressions and the habits formed in infancy and youth depend the mental workings and the habits of later life. Therefore it is necessary to nurture the little people in the right kind of atmosphere. If the child is trained properly from infancy there will be no serious bad habits to overcome during later years, and, as all know, habits are the hardest of all bonds to break. To overcome the coffee and alcohol habits is hard, but to overcome bad mental habits is even more difficult.

First of all, let the infant alone most of the time. Some mothers are so full of love and nonsense that they take their babies up to cuddle and love them at short intervals, and then there are the admiring relatives who like to flatter the parents by telling them that the baby is the finest one they have seen; it is an exceptional baby. So the relatives have to bother the infant and kiss it. This should not be. The child should be kept in a quiet room and should not be disturbed. There are no exceptional babies. They are all much alike, except that some are a little healthier than others. If they are let alone, they have the best opportunity to develop into exceptional men and women.

Paying too much attention to babies makes them cross and irritable. They soon learn to like and then to demand attention. If they do not get it at once they become ill-tempered and cry until attention is given. Thus the foundation of bad temper is laid in the very cradle. They gain their ends in infancy by crying. Later on they develop the whining habit. When they grow older they fret and worry. Such dispositions are the faults of the parents.

It does not take long for children to learn how to get their way, and if they can do it by being disagreeable, you may be sure that they will develop the worst side of their nature. Let the child understand that being disagreeable buys nothing, and there will soon be an end of it. Children who are well and well cared for are happy. They cause their elders almost no trouble. To lavish an excessive amount of care on a baby may be agreeable to the mother at first, but it is different when it comes to caring for an ill-tempered, spoiled child of eight or nine years.

Many crimes are committed in the name of love. Many babies are killed by love. Unless love is tempered by understanding it is as lethal as poison. Many parents think they are showing love when they indulge their children, but instead they are putting them onto the road that leads to physical and mental decay. True love is helpful, kind and patient. The spurious kind is noisy, demonstrative and impatient.

Do what is necessary for children, but do not allow them to cause unnecessary work. What they can do for themselves they should do. They can be taught to be helpful very early. They should be taught to be neat and tidy. They should learn to dress themselves and how to keep their rooms and personal effects in good order early in life, no matter how many servants there may be. These little things are reflected in their later lives. They help to form the individual's character. It is what we do that largely make us what we are, and every little act and every thought has a little influence in shaping our lives. An orderly body helps to make an orderly mind and vice versa.

Many of the rich children are unfortunate indeed. Some times poor parents have so many children that each one gets scant attention, but the children of many of the rich get no parental attention. The parents are too busy accumulating or preserving a fortune and climbing a social ladder to bother with their children. Their raising is delegated to servants. At times the little ones are put on display for a few minutes and then the parents are as proud of them as they are of the expensive paintings that adorn the walls or the blooded dogs and horses in kennels and stables. No amount of paid service can compensate for the lack of parental love.

The ideal today, especially for female children, seems to be to make ornaments of them, to train them to be useless. Girls, as well as boys, should be taught to be useful. They should be taught that those who do not labor are parasites. If some do not work, others have to work too hard. The story is told of Mark Twain that he dined with an English nobleman who boasted that he was an earl and did not labor. "In our country," said Mark Twain, "we do not call people of your class earls; we call them hoboes."