Part 2

The Black Woman's Guide to Black Men's Health
by Andrea King Collier, Willarda V. Edwards, M.D.

(Page 2 of 3)

Ronald Bishop, MD, is a family medicine doctor who talks to black men about their health on a regular basis. "I think that the state of health for black men is due to lack of early education. We need to get them to understand the value of health care," he says. "They don't understand that what they do in early years will be a reflection of their health when they get old." Dr. Bishop suggests that women keep hammering home the message that almost every disease is either preventable or treatable, if it is caught early. He says this is one of the reasons why it is so important for black men to develop a dialogue with their doctors.

Dr. Bishop recommends an annual physical for all his male patients - at bare minimum, as a part of good health maintenance. He says that the younger they start with this routine maintenance the better. "I like to get them started at age thirty," he says.

By flipping the script on the way our men interact with health care providers, we can help them get the jump on many life-threatening diseases. A man who knows that he has high blood pressure or high cholesterol can make big changes with our help.

That said, the big question is how do we do it? How do we get the men in our lives to break old habits and take better care of themselves? It is risky business. Often the efforts we make to help are viewed by the men in our lives as a desire to have more control over them. It can become a power struggle between couples and among family and friends.

One adult daughter of a father who was neglecting his health says that trying to get him to take care of himself became very tense. "He hadn't been to the doctor in years, not even for a physical." She says it became a painful battle. "One day he just put me in my place and reminded me who the parent was, and who was the child. It hurt my feelings."

You may have even had these conversations within your own family. They can be exhausting for everyone, and can result in him digging in his heels. Being the health support system for black men who would rather avoid everything around their health can be a pretty thankless job. But as Deborah Roberts, a broadcast journalist and wife of Today show weatherman Al Roker, says, "I might be viewed as a nag, but I will own that if it keeps him around for me and our children."

We have to keep reminding them that we are doing this for their health and well-being. Sometimes these conversations will spin out of control. They become about everything else, from unfinished house projects to overdrawn checking accounts. Stay on target and keep these conversations focused.

Be Informed ...

Sandra Gadson, MD, is the president of the National Medical Association (NMA), and a nephrologist. She says that education is key. The NMA works hard to bring health education materials and campaigns to people of color, as do many other organizations and agencies. Make it your mission to use some of the learning tools available like magazine articles, health books, health features on television, research on the Internet, and sessions sponsored by local health agencies to be more informed about health and health care. Ask any bookstore staff, and they will tell you that black women are buying and reading more books than ever before. But they will also tell you that although we do buy some self-help books, we're not buying a lot of health books. If you want to be a positive source of health information for yourself, your family, and, your friends (and each of us should be) then you have to read about, listen to, and participate in the information gathered around health and health care for the men in your life and for yourself.

We are not suggesting that you become a doctor, or a health care warden. We are suggesting that you gather and share information that will help you navigate the medical waters for your family and your circle of friends. The experts call it health care literacy, but it's just being knowledgeable about how his body works, how your body works, and what is available to keep them working as well as possible, for as long as possible. If you read magazines, and there is a great story on hypertension, cut it out. Tell people what you read. If Tom Joyner is promoting his Take a Loved One to the Doctor Day, then put your husband, your dad, your play uncle, and everybody who won't go on his own into the car and take them to the doctor. If Essence or Ebony is doing a feature on how to cook healthy without losing the flavor and enjoyment of food, try the recipes and share the ones that work with your friends, families, and co-workers. If you see an article in the newspaper about cardiopulmonary resuscitation classes in your town, get a few friends together and take the class. You could receive information that would save someone's life someday. The Internet is a source of wonderful information. Bookmark credible Web sites that offer sound health information. We mention good Web sites all through this book and there is a comprehensive list in the resources section. Think about forwarding fewer singing, dancing duck e-mails and send more important health information on how your friends can make lifestyle changes that can pay off big for their whole family. In a matter of a few clicks you can reach all the men you care about with a reminder to get a colorectal exam.We both keep reading files of health information from various sources and add to them constantly. More important, we share the information with others who need it.

Take the time to find out what is available in your community. Know where the clinics and hospitals are. Know where the support services are and how to access them. Invite health service agencies in to talk to your church, your college, or your civic organizations. Invite health care providers to talk to the staff at your job, or at your man's job.

Another piece of good advice is to never draw negative comparisons. The worst thing you can say to a man when you are trying to convince him to make a lifestyle change is to make a comparison between him and someone else - especially if it is not a flattering one. Restrain yourself. It almost never does any good and probably causes hard feelings. If his father smoked all his life and died of lung cancer, it probably is not a good idea to get in your man's face and tell him that he's going to end up just like his father. Instead, try another, more positive approach. Tell him what he means to you and the rest of your family. Share with him how his health worries you and your children. Tell him that you simply don't know what you would do without him. Offer to be of assistance, instead of insisting on taking control. Let's face it, ladies, we sometimes have control issues. There is often a thin line between helping out and taking over. Sometimes we feel that it is just easier to take over, but the goal is to create an environment where he is in control of his health and you are in control of yours.

© 2006 by Andrea King Collier and Willarda V. Edwards, M.D.

About the Author

I knew I wanted to be a writer when I was a very little girl in Gary, Indiana.I have followed the advice that recommends writing about what you know. But I also dig deep into things that I want to know. Much of my work which now spans over 30 years, and includes articles in O the Oprah Magazine, Woman's Day, Essence, AARP Magazine, More and others, starts with a question. What if? How come? When?