Who Is Rightsizing? : Part 4

Rightsizing Your Life: Simplifying Your Surroundings While Keeping What Matters Most
by Ciji Ware

(Page 4 of 5)

Happy rightsizers also have made a conscious commitment to the principle of simplicity, surrounding themselves with only the people, possessions, and activities they love. They didn't just downsize, they made mindful choices about the who, what, where, when, and why of the places they considered - and ultimately selected - to live during their "third age." They gave considerable thought to the kind of people they still aspired to be and weren't shy about striking out in directions that excited them - even if it meant sailing the seas or simply knitting in front of a fire. For many the paradigm shift that is occurring is a move away from the notion of "aging in place" to aging in a community of kindred spirits with fewer material possessions, yet plenty of time for sharing activities and pursuits that have meaning in their lives as currently constituted.

Amazingly enough, my family's own personal rightsizing miracle began as a painful (and pain-in-the-ass) process that slowly shifted into something astonishingly positive - at times even joyful. With each item sold or given away, with every trip to Goodwill or the dump, we began to feel ... lighter ... freer, unburdened - almost buoyant!

We even began to feel strangely youthful as we deep-sixed worn croquet mallets, outdated clothing, rusted weed whackers, magazine back issues, and untold objects that no longer had use in our current lives. Gone were the physical and psychological albatrosses we'd been carrying (and had paid good money to maintain) for far too long.

That's not to say there weren't potholes along the way, including the purchase of a low-ceilinged, 950-square-foot condo we hated and sold four months later and culling our possessions not once, but four different times. But in the process of discovering which of our worldly goods actually meant something to us and were useful in our lives now, we learned to reach out to a new community, be more flexible, be open to change, and admit to ourselves this would be a process of trial and error. We suddenly felt as if we'd liberated ourselves from an outmoded way of living that had been weighing us down in more ways than mere bulk.

It was a year or so after that miserable rainy morning when I'd wept at the sight of my grown son's little rocking chair that I realized my husband and I had taken a course of action I ultimately dubbed rightsizing our lives. Not merely "downsizing" to fit into a smaller living space, with fewer physical possessions, but taking positive steps to create a living environment filled only with the household goods - as well as people and activities - that we love, along with surroundings that suit our stage in life to a T. We had discovered that we didn't merely want "smaller," we wanted "better," and we achieved our goal the rightsizing way.

This book is intended to make a potentially bumpy transition to smaller - or larger - scale living a lot smoother by fully preparing you for it emotionally as well as practically. The goal is to help people begin to liberate themselves from their "stuff" so that they can enjoy a precious time of life surrounded by the people and possessions that give them joy in a place where they feel fulfilled.

We did it, and so can you.

What's So "Right" About Rightsizing?

Dominique Browning, editor of House & Garden magazine, is a woman I admire tremendously for her stylish writing, her talent for articulating the beauty to be found in our surroundings, and her searing honesty. Contemplating the sale of her exquisite home, she writes, "It is a house I love. It has sheltered me through the end of love and the beginning of love. It has been home to two boys ... [yet] there is liberation in recognizing what you don't need, as well as understanding what you want."

Perfectly put! The rightsizing of Browning's world already appears under way. It consists of understanding what you want your environment to look like as your needs change with age. It is also about being spunky enough to embark on a journey to discover just exactly what those needs might be.

Some rightsizers will, indeed, choose to "age in place," adapting their own homes to be safer, more secure places in which to grow older. Others will opt for a series of homes that meet the criteria of their evolving stages and situations as they continue to age. And still others will seek out the "perfect place" they hope to live in until they die, a home that fulfills longings they've sublimated for too long.

In this journey we move away from the idea that "we are what we have" and that if we have fewer things, we amount to less. Rightsizing your life examines these superficial judgments and celebrates our lives through thoughtful selection of the environment, possessions, and people that resonate for us.

Rightsizing is also a way to rescue you from being a prisoner of your possessions. It examines some of the emotional and psychological ties we have to material things and suggests ways to free ourselves from here on out so we can travel more lightly and revel in surroundings that speak to us in ways we never imagined.

Rightsizing lays out lifestyle preferences and encourages out-of-the-box fantasies. It starts by imagining what you've always dreamed about - the cottage by the sea ... the cabin on the lake ... the condo on the links ... the sophisticated city apartment ... the vagabond life on the road or the high seas. The truly adventurous sign up for activities like Habitat for Humanity's Care-A-Vanners, hundreds of older adults in recreational vehicles who build houses for the poor all over the country. Everything and anything is acceptable when you're conjuring visions of the ideal rightsizing scenario, for it just might lead you to a totally new world.

Copyright © 2007 by Ciji Ware

About the Author

Ciji Ware has been a print and broadcast journalist for twenty-five years, best known as a health and lifestyle commentator for ABC in Los Angeles. She is the author of Sharing Parenthood After Divorce and more recently, five historical novels.