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Now, as many of us would, I found her inquiry a great boost to my shaken state of mind. Here, at last, was a chance to recoup some of my lost self-esteem. After all, I was still a competent psychologist!

"Yes, I'd be glad to help in any way I can," I said with my most dignified, yet humble, professional voice.

"Well, you may not be aware of this, but Sacramento has been having a run of investment frauds lately. I'm doing an article on it. We need to know if there is any type of personality or character flaw that allows people to get taken in these schemes. You must see lots of these types of people in your practice. What exactly is wrong with their thinking process?"

Oh, my God! I was caught! At first, I wanted to say that I was way too busy to talk. I wanted to hang up the phone before she asked another question. I saw my reputation going down the drain. But the worst was yet to come.

I'm an extrovert. In order to know what I'm thinking, I have to hear myself say it. So, before I knew it, I heard the following words slipping out of my mouth: "I was one of those people! I lost $35,000 on that scheme!" I stared into the receiver, feeling my heart going right down through those little black holes. I was horrified.

After a long pause, the reporter asked kindly, "Are you sure you want to tell me this? Do you really want me to print this?"

As I regained my breath, I considered her questions. She might as well, I thought. Maybe others can learn from my mistakes.

At one point, the reporter tried to find excuses for my actions. "He played upon your trust and relationship with your friends who were also investing," she said.

"Well, maybe. But do you want to know the real reason I invested with him without reading the fine print?" By now, the relief from telling the truth was making me feel a little heady.

"Yes. Tell me," she gasped.

"It was greed."

The instant the words were out of my mouth, I knew it was true. Greed. Wanting to beat the system and make a quick profit. I hadn't listened to anyone who warned me about how risky the investment was. I had been blinded by the possibility of a fabulous outcome. I had not wanted to bother with the finer details, such as knowing the long-term track record of the company. I did not even ask to see the actual escrow papers of the deals I was supposed to be financing!

The reporter's interview was lengthy. The article she wrote detailed how people from all walks of life can experience moments of money madness. Greed was the form this madness took with me.

Soon after the publication of the interview, my friends and colleagues started calling to reveal their own financial nightmares. They had stories of scams, bankruptcies, and unexpected losses. People told me about their spending binges, or how they hid money from their spouses. I heard stories of families being torn apart because some were left more money than others when their parent or loved one died.

People told me about goals they had abandoned. They spoke about dreams delayed or unachieved because of the fear of taking even the slightest chance with their money. A bank vice president told me about a couple who kept more than $250,000 in a low-interest, simple savings account because they were too afraid to invest in money-market certificates.

Soon I had a big file of personal stories that showed how upset we can get in our relationship with money. Some of the people who told the truth about their worries and difficult money experiences were bankers, real estate brokers, certified financial planners, and stockbrokers. These were individuals one would expect to know better. The truth was, they did know better. Their knowledge was simply not getting translated into Authentic Action.

A well-known financial consultant confided, "When it comes to other people's money, I know just what to do. But I can't follow my own financial advice. I'm like the child of the shoemaker going without shoes." I have since found that this is not an unusual experience, and it's especially difficult for those who are experts in financial fields. If their relationship with money is less-than-powerful, they worry that they are frauds. Nothing could be further from the truth! Interacting with the energy of money is an opportunity for all of us to learn lessons - no matter how much information we have. The trick is to identify and learn those lessons before they get bigger and more demanding.

I spoke with other people who, rather than having a disastrous relationship with money, were simply bored with the tedious predictability of their money lives. They made enough to pay the bills and make necessary major purchases. Their credit-card debt was too high, but they felt they would get around to paying it off - someday. Many of their goals and dreams had been delayed until their lives settled down - one day. This "someday/one day" mantra had captured their attention and was draining their creative energy.

© 2000 by Maria Nemeth, Ph.D.

Tags: Career & Money

About the Author

Maria Nemeth, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist with more than twenty-eight years' experience, a former clinical professor in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of California-Davis School of Medicine, and former columnist for the Sacramento Business Journal. Her popular Sounds True six-tape series, The Energy of Money, and her "You and Money" seminars have helped thousands of people to create ongoing affluence and financial ease.