Key # 1 : Part 2

Letting Go of Your Bananas: How to Become More Successful by Getting Rid of Everything Rotten in Your Life
by Dr. Daniel T. Drubin

(Page 2 of 2)

All personal growth begins the moment you are willing to accept the truth about yourself. And the truth often hurts. We become so bogged down in denial that we often refuse to face or accept the truth and take personal responsibility for our lives. At one point when I was not satisfied with the condition of my life, I asked a person for whom I had tremendous admiration and respect to tell me the truth about what he thought my problem was. After making certain that I really wanted to hear it, he told me he thought I was "the most selfish person he had ever known." His comment just blew me away, and my feelings were hurt. I didn't see myself that way at all. Only after putting my ego and feelings aside was I willing to consider his comments. And when I was truly honest with myself, I saw that he was right. That one moment of truth and incredibly painful comment changed my life. You just have to face the truth about yourself if you want to tear down the barriers and let go of the stinking bananas in your life. Once you have faced and accepted the truth about who and what you are, as well as who and what you are not, you can make the decision to totally invest all of your physical and mental energy into ridding your life of all rotten bananas.

The truth for most of us is that over time it becomes increasingly easier to defend the sameness in our lives. We settle for the status quo and believe we are doomed to living the life that others have dealt us rather than taking control of our own destiny. In order to make ourselves okay with our day-to-day existence, we are capable of justifying, explaining, and defending how we managed to wind up where we are. Remember, taking personal responsibility for one's life is the highest form of personal growth. In fact, I never did meet a person who couldn't perfectly explain his or her situation in life. Barrier busting and letting go of life's bad bananas is an ongoing tug of war between where you are and what you aspire to be. It's the constant battle between clinging to the convenience of remaining exactly where you are versus the confrontation, chaos, and pain of changing the condition of your life. As I have always said, "You are in the pain or in the pain." Cling to your bananas and not like the feeling, or let go of them and face the unknown. Either way you are going to be uncomfortable. My personal philosophy has always been that as long as you are going to be uncomfortable anyway, you may as well opt for the discomfort of change. Only then will you be able to fully enjoy all that life offers. Once you are willing and able to see the truth about your past you will be able to create a better present and future. Then you get to toss out all of your stale, rotten, and smelly life bananas.

As I had mentioned, getting rid of your stale, rotten, and smelly bananas requires courage and confidence. The reason we need so much courage is that we are literally addicted to our own lifestyles and situations. The best definition I have ever heard for an addiction is: "When you can never have enough of what you really don't want." As much as we complain and want a banana-free existence, there is a part of us that just loves our smelly, rotten, and stale lifestyle. Our approach to life is more about settling for the status quo than reaching for the stars.

To advance beyond where you are, you must be prepared to make some very tough decisions and willingly accept the consequences of those decisions. In life, decisions drive behavior, and altered behavior creates altered outcomes. Remember, people who take emotional ownership of their lives win.

Very often, the stale bananas in your life have to do with the quality of your relationships. If your relationship bananas are working for you, that's great. On the other hand, if you are clinging to some stale, rotten, and smelly relationships, you have some decisions to make. Basically, when it comes to decision-making you have three choices: settle, fix, or flee. You can keep things exactly as they are and settle for the life you have, you can fix the situation and make things better, or you can flee the situation, remaining in a state of total denial. Of those choices, only you can determine what the best course of action is for your life. Just be prepared to live with the result of those choices.

I never could understand why some people opt to remain in destructive or abusive relationships. As a child I remember members of my family who would not speak to other members of the family. Children would not talk to parents or to their siblings. When I asked my father why his brother did not speak to his father, my dad had a list of reasons that made perfect sense, at least to my uncle. While I know this isn't likely to happen in your family, these are the types of rotten bananas that can get in the way of experiencing a better life. People who choose to cling to their rotten bananas know that things are lousy, yet they just keep coming up with world-class excuses to stay where they are. Very often they are so immersed in their negative life condition that they cannot even see beyond their barriers and instead settle for a life of limitation and pain.

If that sounds like you, go get professional help now. Face it: Some bananas are so big and stinky that you need help. There are people and organizations that will support you in doing what is in your own best interest. Frightening? Of course. If it were easy to let go of all of life's rotten bananas, we would live in a world that is perfect. Take a look around; life and the world are far from perfect, and that's okay, because it provides us with a challenge. Your job is to give up looking for perfection and trade it for day-to-day improvement. Remember, letting go of all of your bananas is about the daily direction that each day of your life takes. As long as you are continually moving in the right direction each day, despite how difficult that may be at times, you become closer to living a life free of limitations.

Remember, improving the quality of your life takes work, focus, consistency, and a burning desire to maximize the positive moments of each day of your life. As with so many things in life, there is always a trade-off. You have the ability and power to choose consciously to rid yourself of all of your personal limitations. Take stock of every single thing that holds you back and exchange those limitations for a life of limitless potential, a life that is more personally and professionally rewarding.

KEY #1

Letting Go of Your Bananas

What You Can Do

• Make a list of your rotten bananas.
• Decide what or whom you are no longer willing to accept in your life.
• Be willing to get into the pain of changing your destiny.
• Make the tough decisions.
• Embrace the consequences of your decisions.
• Be totally honest with yourself and others.
• If you need help letting go of your bananas, get help.
• Remember, you only grow when you let go!

He who has a strong enough why can bear almost any how.

- FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE

Copyright © 2006 by Dr. Daniel T. Drubin

About the Author

Dr. Daniel T. Drubin graduated from New York Chiropractic College in 1967. He then went on to open his own high volume chiropractic practice in Fresh Meadows, NY. From 1980-1996 Daniel was the president of Markson Management Services and published numerous articles related to the field. In 1996 Dr. Drubin moved to Park City, Utah and founded Chiropractic Elite Organization. CEO, an all inclusive management & marketing firm, provided chiropractic entrepreneurs with the management and marketing tools necessary to build million dollar practices.