Becoming Actualized Christians : Part 3

Letters to a Young Evangelical (Art of Mentoring)
by Tony Campolo, Ph.D.

(Page 3 of 3)

If you are going to develop spiritual depth, you must be part of a support group that will nurture you spiritually and hold you accountable as you try to live a life marked by Christian integrity. It is easy to become lax in your spiritual disciplines of prayer and Bible reading. It is easy to be lulled into a lifestyle wherein you forget to do those things that are essential to staying alive spiritually.

Don't forget that we Evangelicals believe that there are demonic forces at work in the world that seek to hinder your growth into Christian maturity. A support group provides a strong countervailing influence against those forces and tendencies by regularly checking up on you. I believe that being part of a support group is absolutely essential. In fact, if you don't have an accountability group, I don't think you have much of a chance over the long haul of living a consistent Christian life.

"Wherever two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them," Jesus said (Matthew 18:20). I take Jesus at his word. I believe that something mystical can happen in the context of a support group. As members of a support group interact with one another - sharing what is going on in their lives, talking about their respective spiritual experiences, praying together, deepening their friendship, and asking probing questions of one another - a special awareness of Christ's presence can emerge.

While it is always fun to be with the three other men in my support group, sometimes we receive a kind of special blessing from our little gatherings. Meeting in the back room of Joe's Place, a little coffee shop in Wayne, Pennsylvania (our own version of Cheers), we make a lot of noise as we joke with one another, but there are times when our voices become hushed and our conversations are pervaded by deep feelings and spiritual inklings. I am reluctant to use the word blessing for what we experience at such times because I have an aversion to the kind of "God talk" that people sometimes use to show off their religiosity. But I don't know any other word to describe what God gives to us at such times. On some occasions when I've been troubled, what I experience with my friends has helped me to find peace. My support group has lifted me up emotionally from depression, and has encouraged me to be confident in the face of difficult challenges. This small circle of friends has given me wise counsel when I've needed to make my way through complex situations.

Decisionmaking can be very difficult for me, especially when the decision might shape my life's course. Often, I become very confused over whether a given decision is God's will or nothing more than an egoistic desire. That is when my support group can be of enormous help.

One time, a Christian college considered me for its presidency. My friends didn't say much as the search committee gave me serious consideration. I suppose that they assumed that the search committee soon would realize that I just wasn't cut out for such a job. But when I made the final cut, the friends in my support group decided that it was time to act. They sat me down and let me know that a college presidency just wasn't for me. They pointed out that my personality and style caused me to shoot from the hip on controversial issues, and that a college president could not do that sort of thing. They let me know that if I took on the presidency of that college, I'd have to change - and then I wouldn't be me anymore - or, if I continued to operate in my usual style, I'd end up destroying the college. I capitulated to their judgment and turned down the opportunity. I thank God that my friends saved me from what could have been a disaster. In retrospect, I realize that I was being seduced by the promise of prestige rather than considering how God could best use me.

My support group also has served to check up on me, to make sure I'm living a consistent Christian life. Once, when I was out in California, I got a telephone call in my motel room at 5:00 a.m. The voice at the other end of the line asked, "Are you alone?"

I answered, "It's five in the morning, of course I'm alone."

"Just checking," my friend answered. He hung up.

If you're thinking, "How horrible that you need to be checked up on from time to time," I ask you to consider the possibility that Jimmy Swaggart and Jim Bakker might not have gotten so messed up if some good brothers in Christ had been holding them accountable.

Forming a support group isn't always easy. You'll probably need to take the initiative to get things started. You'll have to ask a good friend if he or she has considered forming such an intimate support group. You may well be surprised to hear that this person has long hungered for such a support group. In our alienated world, many people crave the intimacy a support group can provide.

Make sure that you really like any person you ask to join your support group. Only invite a person you'd enjoy dining or traveling with. Also, your support group must be made up of people who are of the same sex - don't forget that you will be sharing the most the intimate details of your lives with one another.

Don't devote the time you spend together to Bible study. You can do that on your own. It's good to share with one another what your individual sessions of Bible study and prayer are teaching you and how they are changing you, but if you make your support group all about Bible study, I assure you that your get-togethers will soon become more of a burden than a joy. When you're with these special friends, you should be making sure that each of you is keeping up daily disciplines of Bible study and prayer, rather than making these gatherings the times to get into these spiritual exercises.

Jesus had a support group. You can name them, can't you? They were Peter, James, and John. Whenever Jesus was about to enter into some unusual spiritual experience or ordeal - for instance, his encounter with Elijah and Moses on the Mount of Transfiguration - he wanted his support group with him. The presence of these special friends was a source of encouragement and strength for him. That can help us understand why he was so sad in the Garden of Gethsemane when, in the face of the horrendous trial that lay before him on Calvary, they fell asleep. You can imagine the pathos in his voice as he woke them and asked, "Could you not tarry with me for one hour?" It's as if he were saying, "Guys, just when I needed your emotional and spiritual support the most, you fell asleep on me!" If Jesus reached out for strength and encouragement from his support group, how could any of us think we can live the life and endure the ordeals we face without a support group of our own?

I have not offered these suggestions about prayer, Bible reading, and support groups because I think they are merely good ways of staying faithful in your commitment to Christ. They are absolutely essential. Without them, you will not be able to grow spiritually into the kind of people God wants you to be. It will be only a matter of time before you drift into spiritual deadness and conformity with the many destructive values that permeate the dominant culture. In Scripture we are told, "Be not conformed to the world." These guidelines are essential to preserving your integrity as Christians.

Sincerely,
Tony

© 2006 by Tony Campolo. Reprinted with permission from Basic Books.

About the Author

The Rev. Dr. Anthony ("Tony") Campolo is Professor Emeritus of Socialogy at Eastern university, St. Davids, Pennsylvania, having previously served on the faculty of the University of Pennsylvania. A graduate of Eastern Collage and of Eastern Baptist Theological Seminary, he earned a Ph.D. at Temple University. Dr. Campolo is a frequent media commentator, is President and Founder of the Evangelical Association for the Promotion of Education (EAPE), has authored over 30 books, and is ordained in the American Baptist Church. He lives with his wife, Peggy, in a suburb of Philadelphia.