Adventures in Parenting : 0 -3 Years: Monitoring, Mentoring and Modeling

by National Institute of Health

(Page 7 of 12)

Monitoring your child's contact with his or her surroundings

Maria and Luis (Age 9 Months)

What's the Story? Maria is taking her son, Luis, to his first morning of day care. She signed up with the center several months ago, because it had the best location, and visited the center once during the last month. Maria knows that state law requires that day care centers have a three-to-one ratio for children under one year of age - that is, one day care staff person will care for her Luis and only two other children his age. She feels better knowing he will get more personalized care throughout the day. When Maria calls the center during the day to see how Luis is doing, the staff person only replies with, "He's fine." When she picks up Luis after work, the staff person doesn't say very much about his day and seems to shuffle mother and child out the door. Maria notices that Luis is kind of cranky and wonders what his day was really like.

Maria Says: It took me a long time to decide whether or not I was going to put Luis into day care. It's even harder now to know whether I made the right decision. It's frustrating not knowing what is going on in my baby's day. How can I know that he's being cared for when I can't be there?

What's the Point? The best way to make sure Luis gets the care Maria wants him to have is to know as much about the day care center and the people who work there as possible. Maria is her son's best defense against poor care, but only if she is actively monitoring his surroundings. Some day care centers provide a daily diary of every child's day - when they fed the baby, when they changed the baby, who played with the baby, and what they played with. If Maria had asked more questions about the daily routine of the center when she went for her visit, she could've found out whether the center offered that type of report. If she knew the center did not keep a diary for each child, she could have made other arrangements for Luis at a center that did offer the daily report.

If you decide to place your child into day care, learn as much as you can about the center and its workers before you take your child there. Decide what features you must have in a day care center. You may want your child to get a lot of one-on-one attention; or you may want your child to be around kids the same age so that he or she can build social skills. You may want a report of what happens to your child throughout the day. Remember, though, that more attentive care often costs more than the alternatives.

Once you know what you want, find a place that meets all your needs. Visit the center before signing any papers or giving any money. If you can, make one or two unannounced visits to the center, so that you can see how well it runs on a normal day. Contact your local licensing agency to make sure the center has all of the required licenses and permits; find out if there have been any problems reported for the center or its employees. You can also ask the day care center staff for references, which allows you to check their work histories. The more work you do upfront, the more pleased you will be with the care your child receives.

Mentoring your child to support and encourage desired behaviors

LiMing, Yeung, and Chang (Age 3)

What's the Story? Reading is a big part of LiMing and Yeung's lives. They both enjoy reading and do it as often as they can, usually reading at night instead of watching TV. When Chang was born, they asked their health care provider about reading to him. When should they start reading to him? When will he start to read on his own? What is the best way for them to help him learn to read? Now they try to read to Chang every night before he goes to sleep.

LiMing Says: Ever since I was young, I've always liked to read. When Yeung and I got together, reading was one of the things we shared. It seemed only natural for us to extend our passion for reading to Chang.

Yeung Says: I think Chang likes reading, too. He helps turn the pages, points to the pictures he recognizes, and chatters. He knows what is going to happen next and tells me when I've skipped something. He's beginning to recognize the letters and their sounds. He has his favorite books and wants to hear them again and again.

What's the Point? LiMing and Yeung have given a lot of thought to being Chang's mentors. By reading to Chang, they introduced him to one of their interests. They encourage him to choose his own stories and to interact with them and with the book while they're reading. As he gets older, Chang will know that his parents read a great deal. He may decide to join his parents in their hobby.

They may not know it, but LiMing and Yeung are also helping Chang build his reading skills. Studies show that, in the US, more than 50 percent of children are read to by a family member every day. In these studies, family reading is related to better reading comprehension and greater school success. Reading to your child also improves his or her emergent literacy - the knowledge that the words printed in books have meaning. One of the key factors in emergent literacy is being able to recognize letters of the alphabet; other factors include knowing the sounds of letters at the beginning and end of words. Reading to your child improves these skills, which can improve your child's chances for school success.

Modeling your own behavior to provide a consistent, positive example for your child

Marco and Sabby (Age 2)

What's the Story? Marco cares for his son Sabby on the weekends. Now that Sabby is walking and talking, Marco has to watch him more closely so that he doesn't get into trouble. A few weekends ago, Sabby stuck a metal bookmark into an electrical outlet that Marco leaves uncovered so that he can plug in the coffee maker in the morning. Sabby blew out all the fuses in the house, but luckily was not hurt. Despite Marco's scolding, Sabby still goes near the outlet when he gets the chance.

Marco Says: I don't know why he keeps doing it. I've told him "no"; I've said "bad"; I've told him he could get really hurt. But he still goes over to that outlet.

What's the Point? Sabby may still show interest in the outlet because Marco's words don't match his actions. Marco tells Sabby, "no"; but Sabby sees Marco put the coffee maker plug into the outlet. Sabby doesn't know the difference between the plug that's supposed to go in the outlet and other metal objects that shouldn't.

While Sabby is at this age, Marco needs to cover the outlet with a safety cover anytime the coffee maker is not plugged in. Then Sabby won't have the chance to get into it. When Sabby is a little older (three or so), Marco can explain the details of safe materials, dangerous materials, and electrical outlets.

He could also tell Sabby that only grownups are allowed to touch electric outlets. It seems as though Marco is trying to get this across by saying, "no" or "bad," but he only assumes that Sabby knows what he means. Kids, especially young children, will copy what they see even if they don't fully understand it. Sabby's action is a dangerous behavior that could cause him serious harm. Marco needs to take immediate action to ensure Sabby's safety.

About the Author

NIH is the nation's medical research agency - making important medical discoveries that improve health and save lives. The National Institutes of Health (NIH), a part of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, is the primary Federal agency for conducting and supporting medical research.