Prolong your Lovemaking: Making It Last

by Debora Myers

How many of us are dissatisfied with our sex lives? Quite a plentitude of people want more or have trouble getting there because their lovers are finished before they have even started, or worse that they finish right when she's just warming up. As much as we would like to, we can't just lay blame on our lovers. We must take responsibility for our bodies/souls needs and create what we want and how we want it.

"I always psyche myself into believing I'm some hot little sex kitten. I play out in my mind what I'd like to do with him and get very graphic. This always keeps me going. -Mary, S.C.

"When entertaining a man one cannot neglect the setting. Make sure it's a place where both of you can be relaxed. Comfort is a major key when becoming intimate. Mellow lighting lots of pillows and silky sheets make for a nice start for my honey and I! I want him to know were going to be there for a while."-Marta S, Fla.

"This may sound old fashioned but it can really make a difference when you take the time to know your lover. I mean really know them. How can your souls collide if you aren't connected on an emotional level? The quickie animal stuff just isn't for me!"-Trinidad

"Most important for me is to trust your partner and to be loving with each other. I feel so vulnerable in intimate conditions, that I would rather wait for the loving relationship, rather than settle for some cheap sex." -Marley, M.D.

"Don't get so set on the goal of orgasm. Enjoy sex for the moment and give attentions to the whole experience. Don't just focus on your genitals."-La Tonya, C.A.

"Stop for a rest, when things start to slow down a bit. I find it fun and reviving to make a refrigerator raid. I usually keep plenty of goodies ready, I come running back to the bedroom or living room with treats, and before you know it we are at it again. It's fun to feed each other chocolate cherries ... then some yummy kisses can commence."-Sue Sue, MI

"Show him what you want. I actually ask my lovers to do this or bite harder on my nipples; there's no harm in getting it right. The men are usually very happy to accommodate my demands! -Zenia, OH

"I think most men do have a tender side to their nature, but society has put these stereotypes out there that make them think they have to be the hard driving, macho erection machine. Let him know that you don't want him to restrain himself from more tender expressions of his love. Men are conditioned to think they have to be "all that" all of the time. Take off the pressure."-Sonja, New Zealand

" Remember that variety is the spice of life! My husband and I love to roll play. We make whole stories and record them on video. Dressing the parts and all. We make a whole production out of it. It's fun. We also enjoy an open relationship and enjoy swinging and playing with other couples. It has added so much excitement to our love lives." -Dawn, San Francisco

About the Author

Debora Myers is editor and co-founder of