John D. Moore, MS, CADC

Usually, when a client enters my office for counseling, the individual has arrived at a point in their lives where trying to work through a problem on their own is no longer possible. These psychological and emotional dilemmas run the counseling gambit - the collapse of a meaningful relationship, the diagnosis of a serious disease, the death of a loved one, an addiction to a substance or unexpected job loss. Literally, clients are wrought with emotion as they sit on my couch as they cry out loud, "Save me from having to go through this pain." In a metaphorical sense, this human cry for help ("Save me") is much like the sentiment being expressed in the opening music to the popular television show, Smallville, starring Tom Welling as Clark Kent. Consider some of the lyrics, Save Me by Remmy Zero:

All my dreams have fallen down
Crawling around
Somebody save me
And two warm hands break right through me
Somebody save me
I don't care how you do it

It's only natural when we are at our most vulnerable to experience an overwhelming need to reach out towards another as a way of gaining support. This however can be challenging if a person is not used to asking for help. One way that I try to help such clients is by encouraging them to do a homework assignment that can be both insightful and fun. Specifically, I ask them to watch an episode of Smallville. Yes, that's right ... Smallville.

While it's true that the TV show is filled with physically attractive characters with supernatural powers, it is also true that Smallville features stories that are very human, ranging from relationship issues, family struggles, illness and death. The main character, a young Clark Kent (Tom Welling) more often than not does not use his super powers to "Save the day". Instead, by getting in touch with his awareness of humanity, he has learned to draw upon the very best in himself and others as a way of resolving a particular dilemma.

For my clients, it is important they too learn from humanity, with living in the here and now as the primary teacher of problem resolution. As they reach out for support, I encourage them to look at what can be given as opposed to what can be received as they cope with their dilemma. In order to achieve this, I ask clients to attend to a homework assignment.

Smallville Homework Assignment

• Watch an episode of Smallville and be aware of what you are feeling throughout the show
• Are there any characters you can identify with? If so, why?
• How is someone reaching out for help in a way that is healthy?"
• Is someone taking advantage of receiving help?
• What aspects of humanity were used to help the person through the problem?
• Journal your findings and reflect upon them for a few days.

Summary

Asking to be saved from pain is a common experience for those in the helping profession. In reality, I can no more "save" a client than leap buildings in a single bound. However, you and I can learn to gain support in a healthy way while tapping into powerful internal resources that are firmly ground in the human experience - compassion, patience, charity and hope.

About the Author

johndmoore.net
JOHN D. MOORE, MS, CADC is the author of Confusing Love With Obsession: When You Can't Stop Controlling Your Partner & the Relationship (Writer's Club Press), a book containing a variety of case histories regarding people who use controlling behaviors in personal relationships. Moore is a certified addictions counselor in the state of Illinois and a Professor of Health Sciences at American Public University.