“Winning isn't Everything.... it's the Only thing” Is a Big Fat Lie!

by Arthur Riegel

This familiar quote idea has haunted me throughout all my years of coaching, and I suspect I am not alone. In case you are reading this and have no idea, where this quote came from let me give you a little background. The saying "Winning isn't Everything ... it's the Only thing" has for over 45 years been attributed to the legendary coach of the Green Bay Packer football team, the man for whom the Super Bowl trophy is named; the great Vince Lombardi. News flash: he never said it; what he did say is "winning isn't everything -but wanting to win is." The misquote comes from a Hollywood production starring John Wayne and Donna Reed, titled "Trouble Along the Way" (Warner Brothers 1953) that was filmed in black and white and was a story in which Wayne plays a coach and a single parent with a daughter at a private Catholic college and Donna Reed a social worker concerned about the child. In the film there is a scene in which a game is being played while Donna Reed and the little girl are up in the stands watching. The scene shifts between shots of the Duke pacing along the sideline barking out plays and getting his team fired up, then to a couple of priests waving the school colors and finally to Donna Reed and the little girl who looks to be about 10-12 years old. Donna Reed is commenting to the girl about how she hopes the boys are enjoying the game and giving their all or something like that, when the little girl responds back with the line...." well you know what father (so and so) always says..." Winning isn't everything it's the only thing." This is a line that came from a Hollywood production out of the mouth of a 10 year old fictious character. Some how this line got attributed to Vince Lombardi ( some say due to his religious affiliation with the Catholic church) and he spent the rest of his life right down to his last days attempting to correct that mistake with sports commentators and writers.

I suspect like many others, that this kind of thinking, that winning is the only thing, has dominated many a coach and parent's way of looking at sports competition, and when we or our children or our school's team is not winning at every contest then there must be something wrong. Is it possible that something else is being gained that for the moment that for the moment neither I the parent nor I the coach can grasp in my moment of temporary setback? It is the notion of winning all the time that is so in grained in our society that we do all kinds of things including ignoring our higher sense of self to achieve it. At times we are willing to do "whatever it takes" even if it means not doing the right thing. Confused yet? Of course you are because unfortunately, once we remove the mind set that "winning is everything "we are forced to look someplace else for the real purpose of these competitions. In looking the answer I have discovered is not in my head. It lies truly in the heart with a capital H, and, I will come back to that in a minute.

If you look at winning and losing as a whole the fact of the matter is that every time you step onto a field your chances are 50/50. This is a very simple truth, the world as we can perceive it, is made up of a set of opposites, hot vs. cold, up vs. down, win vs. lose etc. everything in creation is a world of duality. In fact you cannot experience one without the other. Imagine living with only daylight? Or only darkness? One compliments the other. Without sorrow this is no joy. Without an opponent we don't get to play the game. So how do we operate then in this world of duality? And where do we put our attention in order to succeed instead of fail. And more to the point, how do we participate in competitive sports? The answer lies in our higher sense of self. There is a greater part of us that knows how to take all this duality and see it for what it is and what it is not. We are far more than just winners or loser's in this game! We are in fact, the creators of our own destinies. And depending on how we notice and observe the workings of our own thoughts and the feelings they create we can see the good in both the winning and the losing. We can experience both the good and the bad of winning and losing, and not forget our true selves. This is not a new concept, Eastern forms of competition have been teaching this for thousands of years; they even refer to their sports as "arts" as in martial arts. The goals of which are not to annihilate or destroy opponents but to honor, respect and love them. The realization being that without an opponent the artist doesn't have anyway to demonstrate the skills he has mastered. The competition is based on both opponents demonstrating their best, giving 100% and enjoying the chance to compete. It is not in the winning or losing but in the competing that the athlete/artist is able to demonstrate his level of mastery. Vince Lombardi's correction of the famous misquote "Winning isn't everything-but wanting to win is." Has a very subtle but powerful distinction from winning is the only thing. That distinction lies in the power of our attention and intention. Why participate in an activity unless you do it to the best of your ability? Our intention should always be to do our best to win or succeed, however if on any given day we do not have the outcome we would prefer we are not meant to take that personally. We give our best, learn from our mistakes and simply get better as we grow. I have a personal motto that goes like this: "Make it personal; don't take it personal." What I mean by that is I want to do things to the best of my ability, I want to personally make it my business to give all that I can, while at the same time, remembering that if I succeed or fail it is not a real reflection of who I truly am, it is just the result of the best of my efforts at that time.