My Foundation for Love

by Paul Mauchline

Not a week has gone by in the last 10 years or more where I have not encountered someone hurting from a failed relationship or afraid to commit to loving another person. I have heard thousands of these types of stories, and lately, due to my web site, I have been receiving emails from people around the world seeking my guidance about affairs of the heart.

I have faced these very problems myself in my life. So how did I get through the rough spots with this thing we call love? Through my own personal growth, life experiences, and with the support of friends and family, I have recovered through what I would not call mistakes, but rather "love lessons." On more than one occasion, a book or a workshop has brought a message that has allowed me to heal or commit to love over time.

In the world we live in today, most people look for the quick cure for everything. Whatever is broken, we can get it fixed or replaced with a new one in the drop of a hat. However, when it comes to love, my friends, there is no quick cure: it takes time and must come from you. Trust me, there is no pill, drug, book, workshop, therapist, psychic, or other individual that will provide you with the immediate answers you seek. If there was, I would have found it long ago... and I would be the wealthiest man in the world today.

Tina Turner sings a song called, "What's Love Got To Do With It?" Love has to do with everything in our lives, as long as we are prepared to accept love, and not be ruled by fear. Fear blocks us from fully experiencing love. How do we return to love? I guess the best way to illustrate this "Love versus Fear" philosophy of mine is to share a story from my own life.

One morning, I began my day, as usual, with a walk along one of my favorite sections of beach that surround my "beautiful by nature" island home. This beach walk is my sacred time of day to renew my mind, body, spirit, and soul. As I walked on this day, my normal, happy thoughts of love were not with me. This day was very different: my thoughts were full of anger, hurt, and betrayal. I was asking myself why the universe had taken away from me someone I truly, madly, deeply loved.

My walk that day was flooded with so many negative thoughts and questions. Why is this happening? Why did I not see this sooner? Why was she not honest sooner? I had walked this beach before thousands of times. For the first time, I cried that day on my walk. I cried and I cried, tears streaming down my face and falling into the ocean waters.

As I walked and cried, I caught sight of a woman playing with her baby in the water. I stood and looked at them, particularly the child, who had no fear and only love for his mother. I continued to observe them, with my tears flowing even more, when instantly I was brought back to a most loving time in my life. I was 4 years old again, and it was a time in my life when I had no fears and only love to share all the time.

When I was just 2 years old, my father deserted my Mom and me. It was a time when there was not much help available for a woman on her own with a child. Faced with the reality of the situation, and her love for me, she came to a major decision. She decided I would be better off with a family who could care for me, full-time, until I was of the age for school. This would enable her to work two jobs, in order to provide for us and pay off the debts my father had left behind.

About the Author

The Art of Loving