Relationship Communication

I Can't Even Open My Mouth: Separating Messages from Metamessages in Family Talk
I Only Say This Because I Love You : Talking to Your Parents, Partner, Sibs, and Kids When You're All Adults
by Deborah Tannen
The allure of family - which is, at heart, the allure of love - is to have someone who knows you so well that you don't have to explain yourself. It is the promise of someone who cares enough about you to protect you against the world of strangers who do

Why Are Men So Difficult?
It's A Guy Thing : An Owner's Manual for Women
by David Deida
Most women, at one time or another, have wondered why their man was so difficult-why, on occasion, he behaved like a jerk. The answer is easy: Most men give out masculine energy. This, at times, is offensive to most women.

The Gender Myth, The World of Personality Type
Just Your Type : Create the Relationship You've Always Wanted Using the Secrets of Personality Type
by Paul D. Tieger, Barbara Barron-Tieger
There's no denying that those who espouse the viewpoint that gender is an inevitable barrier to good communication have struck a chord with millions of people who are frustrated with the way they deal with their partners.

“You Say Tomato, I Say Tomahto”
Just Your Type : Create the Relationship You've Always Wanted Using the Secrets of Personality Type
by Paul D. Tieger, Barbara Barron-Tieger
Susan and Jeff thought they were perfect for each other. They met in college, enjoyed some of the same interests, came from similar backgrounds, and married after both had had time to establish their careers.

How to Argue with Men!
by Bob Grant, L.P.C.
We have all seen a movie or read a book which teaches people how to resolve conflicts (fight fair). It usually involves talking calmly or repeating back to the person what they have said (i.e.: Yes I hear what you're saying. You're saying I'm an idiot!).

New Relationship Communication
by Toni Coleman, LCSW
I met a guy at school and we have been seeing each other for two months. We relate well and have fun together. He's a full time student and also works for his dad on Saturdays. I work full time and am a part time student. We live 50 minutes apart and see

My husband hates my family and refuses to try to get along with them
by Ellen Kreidman, Ph.D
I need help with family issues. My husband hates my family and refuses to try to get along with them. Instead, he always looks for more reasons to hate them and opportunities to hurt them. My family hasn't liked him from the beginning.

Tips for Talking
by EqualityinMarriage.org
That argument you had before work about who was responsible for buying new milk probably isn't the best example of effective communication. All partners talk to each other, but very few really use communication as a tool to build and revitalize their

What Is Your Relationship Value?
by EqualityinMarriage.org
There are always going to be those days when it seems the world is focused completely on your partner - and not at all on you. Maybe he or she has a big meeting coming up at work, or maybe he or she has just come down with the flu.

When the Question of Peace Puts Your Relationship at War
by EqualityinMarriage.org
With so many strong opinions about war versus peace, many couples find themselves taking different stances on the events in Iraq. People are very passionate about their opinions in this area and, if not careful, you and your partner could isolate one anot

Wife Repressed In Being Able To both Communicate and Express Her Sexuality
by Ellen Kreidman, Ph.D
We’ve been married for 28 years, and my wife has been very, very repressed in being able to both communicate and also being able to express her sexuality. We’ve been in therapy for this for 2 years and it’s getting better, but my patienc

She Doesn’t Ever Feel That I Back Her Up and See Her Side of a Situation
by Ellen Kreidman, Ph.D
We have always had problems, specially since she feels that when she gives her opinion, I always come back with reasons why she shouldn’t think or feel that way, and she doesn’t ever feel that I back her up and see her side of a situation.

The See-Saw
by James Lucoff
This story is a metaphor about relationships that become systems. In this article we draw from the field of systems thinking, which itself is based on cybernetics, the science that provided the foundation for industrial automation and computer

Staying in the Here and Now
by James Lucoff
One of the core Relationship Enhancement skills is the Expressive skill. The Expressive skill guidelines help us to avoid saying things that will trigger a defensive reaction from our partner. For example, instead of saying You

Making Your Relationship Bank Account Grow
by James Lucoff
Dr. Willard Harley talks a lot about our relationship bank accounts. Think about the significant persons in your life. Your current overall feelings about them are probably derived from the sum of all the transactions you

The Game of Untangling
by James Lucoff
During the introduction of a recent workshop I played a brief recording of a couple demonstrating the use of Relationship Enhancement skills. Afterwards there was the usual reaction, They just kept repeating what the other person said.

How to Discuss Issues, Part 1
by James Lucoff
Like collisions, marital arguments happen and often when least expected. But when crashes occur on the road of married life there’s a lot more at stake than sore muscles. Unresolved conflicts in a marriage can put out the fire of romance, squelch in

How to Respond Empathically, Part 1
by James Lucoff
It used to be that when my wife brought up some problem, I would immediately try to fix it. For example, she would mention a difficult encounter with a coworker, and I'd say, Well, why don't you just tell her... Finally one day my wife blurted out

How To Say What You Feel, Part 1
by James Lucoff
There are a lot of reasons why I hold back from saying what I really feel to someone who's close to me - but usually it all goes back to one emotion: fear. Fear of getting an angry response, fear of making myself vulnerable by revealing what is really

My husband has a hard time with communication and showing any emotions
by Ellen Kreidman, Ph.D
My husband has a hard time with communication and showing any emotions. I, on the other hand, wear my emotions on my sleeve and crave lots of conversation. He is a good husband in other ways and a great father but I want to feel closer to him.